Thursday, July 2, 2009

Success is not found in perfection

Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life. Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make yourself a happier and more productive person. Dr. David M. Burns

It is a small but significant distinction. Strive for success not perfection. When I am busily going after perfection, fear is constantly whispering in my ear. "No, not like that. Like this. Stop. That could be wrong. What if it doesn't work? How did the last person do it? What will people say if they find out it didn't work? What will people think if...." And on and on and on.

Striving for success however, gives me room to be human, to learn and grow from my mistakes, to find joy in each step I take. Measuring success is much more profound and fulfilling than measuring perfection. Like the Stand by Me video we just created at the shelter where I work. If I had been focused on perfection -- I'd be unhappy with the results and I'd be dissatisfied with my role in making it all happen. I'd have spent the entire process worrying about am I doing it right? Is this the right singer? Are they the right client? Is this the right way to get everyone together. Is that cut better than this cut to use? There would have been angst and drama around every step, every choice, every decision.

For me, that video is a success. Not because it's perfect -- believe me, I could show you all the flaws, of which there are many, and prove to you it is 'not perfect'. The flaws however, don't make the video. What makes the video is the spirit, the generosity, and the willingness of everyone who came out to participate. They came and gave their best, their 100%, without fearing whether or not they were 'doing it perfect' -- they were doing what they love to do with passion, purpose and grace. They were perfectly perfect in all their human imperfections. The outcome is a perfect reflection of all their efforts, of the spirit imbued in every moment of its creation.

And in the end, the project was a huge success. Not because I did everything right -- in fact its success comes through the lessons learned, the challenges overcome, the willingness to let go of being right so that everyone could be happily involved in creating something of significance.

Striving for success raises lots of questions. First, I need to know, what makes me happy? Do I know what brings joy and fulfillment into my life? How much of my day is spent being contented with where I'm and what I'm doing at versus how much is spent bemoaning what's going on for me?

These are important questions. Questions we need to stop and answer if we are to live a passionate, fulfilling life.

If you don't have any answers to 'what makes me happy', take some time today (remember, Start Right Now), and ask yourself, when was the last time I felt truly contented, satisfied with what I was doing, or how I was living my life? What was I doing? Am I doing any of that in my life today? Am I willing to make room for more of it? If not, why not? How important is it to me that I keep whining about what's going wrong in my life today? Am I willing to take action to change? What's in it for me to stay where I'm at, feeling what I'm feeling, doing what I'm doing if it makes me unhappy.

We can all get caught in the trap of measuring ourselves against a yardstick of perfection that cannot be attained. For some of us, it can become a habit to be constantly striving for the unattainable, working to achieve something we know we can never measure up to. The challenge is, to step away from the ruler and into the joy of being who we are truly meant to be aligned with everything we are doing to create a better world around us. Letting go of the need to 'be right', 'do it right', have it the 'right way' gives us space to start flowing into the joy of knowing we are successful when we joyfully align who we are with everything we are doing.

The question is: Are you feeling alive today? Eager to leap into action, to step forth with confidence into a day well lived, your best day yet? Do you know what makes you happy?

PS: C.C. and I are off on a five day adventure and I won't have access to a computer until we return Monday night. See you Tuesday morning!

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