Saturday, March 14, 2009

Angels leave no footprints

Deep heart listening and speaking your truth generates an exhilarating "heart talk" frequency. "Heart talk" is care in action and builds friendship. As you learn to see everyone as your friend, and not as an enemy, you release judgments. Just keep your heart open to them as you speak your truth. Sara Paddison, Hidden Power of the Heart
I had a late lunch yesterday with a wonderful friend who challenged me with another question -- I love questions! They give me an opportunity to search the world of thoughts and enrich my knowing with deeper thinking.

Let's play a game, she said. What are two things about me that are positives but perhaps you think I don't know, and what's one thing you see as a negative?

We played the game with each other's characteristics, and then switched it to ourselves -- so that we were 'telling on ourselves'.

What became quickly apparent was the fact that no matter how well I know myself -- I can still learn and grow when I listen with a loving heart and open mind.

I have a tendency to disconnect. To be present in a conversation and then, with little warning, to tune out. I've become much more adept at tempering that trait -- it's not particularly appealing, attractive nor acceptable to me. When I am engaged in conversation, I want to be present. I want to focus on the person with whom I'm speaking. I do not want them to feel like I have 'checked out', am not interested, or simply not listening. I want to be involved.

The challenge is, when I'm listening, my thinking will become engaged in the process before someone is finished talking -- and thus I disengage from active listening to fall into the trap of thinking about what they're saying, sometimes even before they've finished saying it.

Hearing my friend identify this trait was very helpful for me. My daughters often comment that I am 'not listening'. C.C. has mentioned the same thing too.

It's time for me to listen up!

It isn't that this trait makes me a 'bad person'. It simply means, I've got room to grow. And I like growth, particularly inner growth. (And not just because it's not apparent on my hips!) Inner growth enriches me. Deepens my understanding of who I am and how lightly, or heavily, I am treading in the world.

An angel leaves no footprints.

To tread a meaningful life, means to leave heartbeats not footprints, in the lives of those I encounter.

Not listening attentively, leaves footprints of disregard on other people's hearts.

My desire is to touch hearts with gentle words and kind regard.

Paying attention to what others say, listening with an open mind and soft heart means tuning my thinking into their words and feeling my way into their heart, keeping my mind quiet in silent homage to the gift of their sharing their truth.

I have to thank my friend yesterday. She gave me a welcome reminder to stop and breathe and reconnect with what is important to me.

People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.

To touch hearts and open minds, I must first open my ears and listen to the beating of their hearts.

Within each heart beats the secret of our desires. When I sit in silent surrender to hearing the beat beneath the story someone is sharing with me, I am honoured with the whisper of their beauty flowing through their words, their tears, their joy, their fears. When I listen in stillness I am open to the flowing of their heart's desire to be heard.

Thanks C! The gift of you in my life awakens me to the wonder of living in this moment for all I'm worth, embracing with love and compassion the human imperfection of my journey.

The question is: Can you stop your mind for a moment and hear someone else's heart beat over the roar of your own thinking?

5 comments:

Maureen said...

My husband and I learned an excellent technique for listening. We state back what we've heard, saying "What I heard you say is,..." and then ask "Did I get that right? Is there more?" At first this approach seems artificial but after much practice you realize how much more attuned you become to hearing what the other person is saying. The other person then feels gratitude for the attentive listening. After a while the techique becomes second-nature. It works especially well when you are confronting a difficult issue and a lot of emotion is involved.

Anonymous said...

Your question for the day - NOW thats a GOOD question!!!!!

Will get back to you with the answer when I have a chance to try it...heeeheee

Louise Gallagher said...

Hi Maureen, Thanks for the technique. I love to hear from readers. How long did it take you to get to that place where it was 'second nature'? Did one of you remind the other if you slipped -- and how did you move out of the mode of wanting to 'fix' the other peron's problems? Sounds powerful! Thanks for sharing.

Heeeheee Anonymous. I'll look forward to your response!

i am storm. said...

thanks for the reminder. it is true. so often the formation of our response or rebutt takes our attention instead of listening to the rest of the thought someone is sharing.

i must say this is a big pet peeve. i find it very frustrating when someone provides an answer to a question when i have not finished asking one....

the two elements i need to work on though are to listen with an open mind and a soft heart. i love those two parameters -- so very important.

often, if you watch two people arguing or debating an issue, the level of their listening skills becomes apparent by the amount of misunderstandings you witness.

storm

Louise Gallagher said...

Hi Storm! Nice to 'hear' you.

It's one of my pet peeves too -- I sometimes find myself consciously slowing down with some people to ensure I don't do that. It is a humbling experience when I discover I'm guilty of the very thing I dislike!

Communication is such a wonderful opportunity to grow!

Cheers,

Louise