Saturday, November 22, 2008

Hope rises

A new day dawns and with it my spirits rise. My cold exists, but it does not consume me. C.C. stirred earlier when I got up to let Ellie out and to feed her and asked me, "How are you feeling?"

"Good," I replied. "For a moment, I forgot I had a cold."

It's like healing from a devastating event in our lives. At first, the circumstances of the event consume us. Every thought is permeated with the memories of what happened, how awful, terrible, horrible we feel. Every movement, every thought reminds us of what happened, or if someone we love has passed away, everything around us reminds us of our loss. We feel as though we will always be consumed by these feelings of sadness, hurt, pain, sorrow.

And then, gradually, the weight shifts. We have a moment, or two, where thoughts of what happened disappear. Where thoughts of our loss are not as dark. At first, we don't notice that there was a moment when we felt lighter, or that thoughts of our sorrow didn't infuse every second of our day.

And then someone asks, "How are you feeling?" and we stop to think for a moment about how we really are feeling, and realize, like a rosebud breaking through the soil after a long winter's nap, hope has lifted its fragile head and begun to take root in the soils of possibility.

Hope.

The French have a proverb, "Hope is the dream of a soul awake."

Yesterday, feeling blue and out of sorts, I lay in bed, warmed by the softness of the sun filtered through the denuded branches of the willow tree outside the bay window beside me. Ellie lay on her mat at the foot of the bed. The house was silent. I read and napped. Wrote in my journal. Napped some more. I felt luxurious. Coddled. Safe.

This morning I awoke and the weight of the cold that put me down has lifted. Hope rises and I awaken to my dreams of my one wild and passionate life unfolding in all its limitless possibilities.

If you are feeling down today, take heart, have hope. This too shall pass.

If you are feeling confused, lonely, afraid, take a deep breath, and then another and another. Imagine each breath is filled with energy. As it enters your body, you transform it into love. As you exhale, love flows freely and hope awakens.

If you are feeling in need of medicine, be gentle with yourself today. Give yourself permission to lay in bed and let the world revolve around you. You are the center of your universe, you don't have to make the world spin. You only have to keep yourself awakening to your dreams.

The question is: Are you giving yourself the medicine you need to awaken to your dreams? Are you loving yourself enough to let yourself breathe new life into dawn's awakening?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great blog!
Glad to hear you mention my favorite writer, Anais Nin. You might be interested in my new book of poems, DEAR ANAIS: MY LIFE IN POEMS FOR YOU!

Cheers,
Diana
www.dianaraab.wordpress.com

Louise Gallagher said...

Hi Diana -- Thanks for dropping by! Anais Nin has long been a favourite writer of mine. I shall check out your book and your blog. Thanks.